Bah Humbug: The best anti-Christmas songs

Christmas isn't the season for everyone and to be honest Christmas songs can get a bit irritating even at the best of times. So, if this time of the year isn't really your thing or you hate Christmas songs then here are the best anti-Christmas songs that you can play in defiance. There's no room for Christmas cheer here, bah humbug!

 

The Fall- No Xmas For John Quays

Trust The Fall and Mark E Smith to deliver an anti-Christmas song in their usual brooding post-punk getup. With blunt lyrics and the odd junkie mention here and there, it's everything you would expect from a Christmas song by The Fall. It is probably the furthest thing from a happy song.

 

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Danny Elfman- Kidnap The Sandy Claws

Danny Elfman is of course the man who penned the soundtrack to the film The Nightmare Before Christmas which was a hugely successful blend of Halloween and Christmas. This track is sung by Jack Skellington as he fantasises about kidnapping, torturing and murdering Santa. 

 

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Kate Nash- I Hate You This Christmas

Even the music video for this one just screams with painful Christmas vibes. Kate Nash is a wise-cracking lyricist who has delivered plenty of brutal lines and it doesn't stop here. The song follows the aftermath of a Christmas breakup and how it can ruin what is supposed to be the best time of year. 

 

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Blink-182- I Won't Be Home For Christmas

Of course, Blink-182 released a Christmas song and this isn't even the only one. It is however the best one and sees them complain about having to be nice to people that you'd otherwise hate for the rest of the year. It is packed full of blaring riffs, definitely a departure from your standard Christmas song.

 

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The Midnight Raiders- All I Want For Christmas (Is To Kick Your Ass)

One of the most brutal songs on this list, the title speaks for itself as The Midnight Raiders plot revenge. They stalk their victim in this song and even threaten to hide under their bed which turn Christmas into more of a horror film. We hope your Christmas is happier than this one.

 

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The Futureheads- Christmas Was Better in the 80s

We are all guilty of wishing we lived in the past at times. The Futureheads took that to another level in their Christmas song where they wished that they were taken back to the 80s all over again. They don't like the modern festive season and insist the snow was much deeper back in their day.

 

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Weezer- The Christmas Song

This one could even be a bit of a tearjerker as Weezer describe a lonely Christmas experience. It may not be an instant classic in their collection but as far as anti-Christmas songs go then it's quite good. Stick this one on if you've ever had to face a lonelier Christmas than usual.

 

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That Was The Worst Christmas Ever- Sufjan Stevens

Sufjan Steven's brand of folk music was the perfect vessel for a downtrodden Christmas song. "Silent night, nothing feels right" he describes as the festive season goes wrong. This won't exactly bring out the cheery side of Christmas, it's the kind of song you can only wallow in your own sadness to.

 

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Last Christmas- Wham

Now, we know that this is a Christmas classic and one of the most annoying songs ever. But, if you actually listen to this story of being heartbroken at Christmas then it doesn't really spell out a happy time. In fact, George Michael should have gone full-on hateful mode for this song instead of making it pop.

 

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Don't Shoot Me Santa- The Killers

Look out Santa's got a gun! Well, that's according to Brandon Flowers on this track from The Killers. He swears that he's been as good as possible and hasn't made the naughty list but he finds himself pleading anyway. We would much rather prefer a sack of coal than a bullet wound.

 

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